October 22, 2010


Fractions, Decimals, and Percentages  OH MY!
 This is what my life has consist of lately.

After 3 years of fighting to get back into school, my FAFSA is finally complete!
Not necessary complete the way I want it to be, but for now it’s beneficial.
Fall of 2011, will be a different story; another struggle.

I suppose I should give you all a run down on why it has taken me 3 years now to even get into college.

Independent VS Dependent

This has truly been the biggest obstacle for me to get across while applying for school.
Even though I am clearly an INDEPENDENT as of 17 years old, dependent of a father that has never had custody of me had to fill in the blanks for me to get into school.

My parents got divorced when I was 2 years old. The reason why is still unclear to me, but they would have never got a long anyways; they still do not.

My sister, 4 years older than me, and I grew up with a single mother. Times were tough as they are for any other single mom out there. While my mom was working 40+ hours, my sister was raising me. My dad loved us but you never knew when he’d be around; sober or drunk.

Through this time, my mom had ongoing relationship with different men in her life. They would last for a while, 3 years here and 5 years there. But nothing ever clicked. So having a stable family never existed unless I was over at friend’s house. My thought; so this is what a real family is like.

I grew up in the suburbs of Detroit. Throughout school, I built up great relationships with friends hence that’s all I had minus my sister. During these times, my sister was much older than me, and doing her own thing. She wasn’t home much, and nor was I. I’d always be staying over at friend’s house.

Thinking back at how my childhood played out, I never really took in consideration what was really happening. Friend’s parents always took me in. They must have had an idea of what was going on. But to me, I thought this was normal. What little girl doesn’t want to have a sleepover?

When I got to 8th grade, the end of middle school, my mom was dating this guy who she met through work. He was retiring and moving up north where he had his cabin. Ironically, we use to go up there every other weekend with a previous boyfriend my mom dated, also a friend of my dad. Complicated, I know. So my mom decided to give up everything she had worked so hard for, and move up north.

As a teenager this was devastating to me. I felt like I was loosing everyone. My sister, my dad and grandma (Dad’s mom), great friendships that were created, and other families I got close to; this was my family. And having to start all over just because of another man in my mom’s life will never be clear to me.

This was the beginning of my nightmare…

On going events went on after this, and within time I am sure I will open up about.

I am not your ordinary 21 year old.

My childhood was nothing like a childhood should be.

& for a mom to think the things should put me through was right will never make sense to me.

I was kicked out of the house when I was 17 years old.

July 4, 2007.
Independence Day; Ironic I know.

The last thing my mom said to me, “Don’t ever come back” followed by the slamming of her bedroom door.

This was the year I graduated from high school.
High Honors and a 3.75 GPA.
My grades are not my issue of getting into school.

I have not seen my mom in almost 4 years now.
Nor do I ever think we will have the relationship we once had, or be the person she once was.

With the lack of communication with my mom, I was unable to apply to college. I wasn’t able to complete my financial aid to go to school.

Becoming an Independent was impossible.
I wasn’t 24 years old, have or plan on having baby, or was getting married any time soon.
Fighting to become an Independent wasn’t legit either. Yes, my mom kicked me out but I didn’t have any sort of paperwork backed up from courts, police reports, or even get emancipated when I was 17.

So showing abandonment was impossible.

I had many family members and friends that could have written me letters regarding my situation but it was never enough.

So for 3 years, my financial aid was incomplete.
Delaying on the fact I wasn’t able to go to college.
I didn’t have to money to pay out of pocket otherwise I would have.
I was a struggling, young lady, working hard to get on my feet on my own!
& that is what I did.

The question I always asked though,
What do people, my age, do when they are unable to be claimed as an independent and clearly they are?

I do not have help from my parents.

Luckily this year, my dad filed for taxes since now it is the hands of an attorney.
Zero Income.

This spring, I can finally go to school to become a more educated individual and be everything my parents aren’t!

Next year will be a struggle regarding whether or not my dad files. But for now, I will focus on what I need to get done. I hope that this won’t hold me back anymore.
So lately I have been studying for my placement test,
and will be on the road to signing up for classes!
This will be such a great feeling!!!

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